


I Feel Your Warmth, It Feels Like Home

by barricadebastard



Series: the JML universe [3]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Fluff, JML Universe, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, idk how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-09-01 01:46:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8602366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barricadebastard/pseuds/barricadebastard
Summary: What if Herc had approached Alex, Laf and John, demanding answers for their suddenly affectionate nature? After all, it wasn't exactly commonplace to be flirted with by your three best friends, all of whom you have a crush on, all of whom are dating each other.(Alternative chapter to Chapter 34 of Je M'appelle Lafayette)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first alternative chapter!! which has accidentally stretched onto more than a chapter but oh well

 

“They’re flirting with me,” Herc said, tone thick with disbelief.

“It does sound like it,” Angelica said neutrally, looking somewhat amused by Herc’s exasperation. “I can’t think of any other reason why they’d grope your thigh, sit on your lap, and corner you against a desk.”

“They’re flirting with me,” Herc repeated. His brain couldn’t get past that small fact, and he had been struggling to process it every since that fateful afternoon when John had pushed him against the desk and left him no room to breathe. He didn’t think his heart had been beating at a normal rhythm ever since. It was just attack after attack after attack, and Herc barely had time to breathe before they were upon him again, slowly killing him with soft touches, lingering fingers, and warm bodies hovering just _slightly_ too close.

Throughout the card game yesterday, Alex remained in his lap. It had been okay, at the beginning, he had grown used to the warm weight, and could pretend it was one of his many siblings again. But then Alex had purposefully shuffled back - he _had_ to know what he was doing - until his ass was directly against Herc’s crotch. Herc had made a strange, strangled sound that he wasn’t proud of, and had carefully avoided Alex’s eye when said boy turned around to give him a smile that was far too innocent to be real.

Then the game had began again, and Alex was forced to go back to his original seat. Herc hadn’t known whether to be glad or disappointed, and settled for trying to avoid thinking about the incident at all. He hadn’t been particularly successful, and found his gaze continuously wandering back to where Alex was sitting opposite him. Laf and John’s smirks had only made the whole thing even more embarrassing.

Then Laf had decided that it would be a good idea to walk around in nothing but an oversized hoodie that had originally belonged to Herc. It felt midway to his thigh, and the collar of the hoodie was hanging just slightly too low, displaying more neck than it had been designed to. Herc had choked on a Skittle when he first saw him, eyes watering and all. Lafayette had ended up thumping his back, but the close proximity did nothing to help Herc get his breath under control again.

And then, as though they were each trying to out-do each other, he had came back from a lecture to find John lounging on his bed in nothing but boxers. Herc had spluttered, completely unprepared to see a half-naked cute boy sprawled on his bed as though it was an everyday habit for him. John had looked up when he heard the door opening and shot him a shit-eating grin, before going back to his phone. Although Herc had an assignment to finish, he had turned around and walked back out.

It had continued for four days, four excruciatingly painful days in which Herc was unsure if he was in a heaven more perfect than he had imagined, or in the pits of a hell designed especially for him. It had become commonplace for them to link fingers with him at any moment, to pinch his cheeks in adoration and then press a kiss to sooth the ache there, to give hugs that lasted too long, and forehead kisses that ended too quick. At one point, Laf had even slapped his ass as Herc was walking away.

Now, he was in the library with Angelica. She had agreed to meet up with him on the terms that they would study, and _only_ study, without being dragged into an impromptu makeshift therapy session to cope with his crushes. He had agreed, but now, after only ten minutes of reading the absurdly thick book, he began to do exactly what he had promised not to: drag her into an impromptu makeshift therapy session.

“It isn’t fair,” Herc complained. “I’m pretty sure they’re doing it on purpose.”

“Flirting usually _is_ on purpose.”

A frustrated sigh. “You’re not being helpful.”

“And you’re not being helpful towards my studying, but here we are,” Angelica sighed, giving up on the International Relations book she was reading and shutting it with a resigned look. “Fine. Alex, Laf and John are flirting with you. Correct?”

“I’m _pretty sure_ that’s correct,” Herc offered, sounding unsure.

“Then you know what that means, right?” Angelica prompted.

“That I should run in the opposite direction before I embarrass myself?”

This earned him a mildly disappointed look. “Or maybe that they like you? That’s also a possible option.”

 _“_ _Or_ they could be making fun of me.”

“Or you could be acting like a child,” Angelica stated, making Herc pout exaggeratedly and give her the best puppy-eyes he could offer. It made her laugh, which he counted as a victory, but then she continued giving him adult advice which he wasn’t particularly ready to take. Angelica was all for ‘facing responsibilities’ and ‘taking action’, especially in situations where Herc’s entire being yearned to curl up with a blanket and his knitting supplies until the issue stopped existing. “You can’t just curl up with a blanket and your knitting supplies until the issue stops existing. You’ve got to _do_ something.”

Well, there went that plan.

“That sounds great, apart from the part where it doesn’t,” Herc grumbled, letting his head drop to the book he had abandoned. It made a dull ‘thump’ sound.

“Isn’t this what you wanted?” Angelica asked, her voice strangely soft in a way Herc had only heard twice, ever. “Isn’t this everything you were asking for? You’ve got all three of your crushes interested in you, and it sounds like they want you to join their relationship. What good will it do for you if you pretend it didn’t happen?”

She was right, of course, as she always was. Herc sighed, the sound muffled by the hardback cover of the book.

“It’s just... I’m scared.” It was the first time he had admitted it out loud. He almost backed out, but Angelica looked encouraging, and he had already dragged her away from her studies. He owed her this. “I don’t know how well I’ll fit in with their little group when they’ve been together for so long. John and Laf have been dating for a while now, and they know _everything_ about each other. They know where their boundaries are, how they fit in together, and everything. Then _Alex_ came, and, well, he storms in like a hurricane and carves out his own space for himself. But I’m not _like_ Alex. I can’t do that.”

He sat up, his heart feeling like it was made of lead and slowly making its way down to his stomach. “I feel like I’ll just end up feeling left out,” he finished.

Angelica nodded. “Well, it is a valid concern. But think about all the attention they’re giving you now, and how much time they’re dedicating to flirting with you. Do they look like they’re going to make you feel left out?”

“But _everyone_ likes the chase better than the actual catch,” Herc told her. His voice began to rise in his frustration, and he was quickly hushed by other students around them.

“Maybe,” Angelica said reasonably. “But maybe that’s something you should talk about with them? Everything can be solved with a discussion.”

Herc remembered when he had told Laf to talk to Alex and John, and somehow the memory transformed into the night Laf had tried to tell him that he liked him, _more_ than liked him, the same night that Herc had found Laf kissing Alex on the steps. He had been angry, god, he’d never been more furious in his life. He had thought Laf was toying with him, that he was nothing but some quick entertainment or maybe just wanted the thrill of cheating. And when he found Laf kissing Alex instead... Well, that had only reinforced that Laf wasn’t _really_ interested in him. After all, if Laf had _really_ liked him, then why would he have turned around and kissed the _next_ guy?

Herc thought he knew the feeling of guilt, but it was _nothing_ compared to when he realised that Laf was actually poly. Knowing that he had been given a shot, and that he had thrown it away. What would have happened if he had gone along with it? He wasn’t entirely sure.

After Laf had not acted on his words again, Herc had assumed that it meant nothing, that it was a mistake, that he didn’t mean it. Otherwise, why would he ignore it and pretend the whole incident had never happened? It had been logical to assume that Laf just wasn’t interested anymore, or had never been.

At least, that was _before_ all the strange behaviour for the past half week or so.

“Hey,” Angelica said, snapping her fingers in his face and effectively bringing him back down to earth. “Does that mean you’ll talk to them?”

Herc sighed. “Sure, why not? But let’s get coffee first.” 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Herc had hoped that, once they got to the coffeeshop, the topic of conversation would move onto something that did not require him to behave as a sensible and mature adult. Unfortunately, this was not the case, as Herc could barely concentrate on what Angelica was saying without his mind wandering back to Alex, John and Laf. Angelica, bless her heart, had managed to not get annoyed, and patiently listened to him lament about his love life.

“Do I really want to do this?” Herc wondered aloud, staring down at his phone.

“That’s not something I can answer for you,” Angelica replied immediately, downing the last of her coffee and placing the cup on the sticky, plastic counter. “But it's probably a question you should think properly about before you start anything.”

Herc sighed. He had been convinced, for a long while, that his crush was unrequited. And that was okay! He had been on his way to accepting that, and it was fine. People weren't _obligated_ to like him, and he was happy just to have an amazing friendship with three people are who seemed to understand him better than he understood himself sometimes. He was grateful for their friendship, and he wasn't going to throw it all away because of a few measly crushes. Sure, jt had hurt to see Alex date another man, but he had reminded himself he had no control over who others dated. Sure, it had been painful when Laf had tried to confess to him several weeks ago, but once he realised that Laf wasn't planning on bringing it up and was most likely only upset about Alex dating Aaron, but he had gotten past that too, had apologised for being so harsh and had moved on. He had _accepted_ it.

But now they were _flirting_ with him, and all his efforts of moving on had come crumbling down his ears, every wall he had been midway of completing had crashed down to form a useless pile of rubble. Some part of him rueful of the fact that they had so much power over him. A large part of him was screaming. He had no idea what to do.

He had never been in a relationship with more than one person. And now he had _three_ people who seemed to be interested. Could he even handle it? What if it was too much for him? It'd hurt more if he joined their relationship and then left again because poly relationships weren't for him.

Angelica seemed to notice his inner turmoil.

“What are you scared of?” she asked, leaning forward. “What's stopping you from confronting them?”

Angelica was a great friend, and Herc had no idea what he'd do without their coffee meetups. He found himself thanking God, fate, or whatever other reason they had managed to find each other. After all, there weren't many people in the world who would indulge his whining on such a regular basis.

He told her none of this, and instead said, “You'd make a great counsellor.”

Angelica snorted. “Thanks, I guess, but don't think I haven't noticed you avoiding the question.”

Herc sighed again. He knew he'd have to confront the matter at some point, but it didn't stop him from cursing the world's inability to let him run away from his problems for as long as he was able. “I guess it's just because I've never been in a poly relationship. I get that other people like it and all, but I don't know how much it'll suit me.”

Angelica hummed thoughtfully. “Maybe that's something you should discuss with them, though. Negotiate stuff, to find something that fits you, and if it doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out.” When Herc didn't respond, staring broodily at the murky remains at the bottom of his cup, she added, “You'll never know if you don't try.”

“You're right,” Herc said. She was always right, but that didn't make him any less bitter about being forced to be a responsible person. “I'll talk to them. And if I end up embarrassing myself and they're not actually into me, then I'm blaming you.”

“Of course,” Angelica said, amused. “Can we get back to Peggy now?”

“Sorry. What were you saying?”

“Xe's not telling me who xe’s dating!” Angelica repeated, voice coloured with frustration and she flipped her hair back with much more force than was necessarily required. “I'm not stupid, I know xe's dating someone, but I think xe’s still convinced I'll scare them off, even though I promised I wouldn't.”

“Why would xe think you'll scare them off?” Herc asked. His tongue stumbled over the pronoun, still unfamiliar in his mouth, but Angelica didn't mention it and he was, thankfully, alone in his embarrassment.

“So I _may_ have threatened a dude xe was dating a while ago,” Angelica admitted in such a sheepish tone that Herc couldn't help but laugh. She glared at him, and he immediately attempted to stifle his laughter, to no avail. Angelica was not one to sound sheepish; unless she had made a mistake, she usually remained completely unashamed of her actions, regardless of how ridiculous they may sound to anyone else. But now her head was ducked and her mouth twisted into a grimace, and seeing that expression on Angelica's face was a sure sign that something was wrong.

“Please tell me you didn't,” he managed to choke through his laughter. They were now receiving strange looks from the other patrons of the coffeeshop.

“I apologised afterwards!” Angelica said in an attempt to defend herself. “Even though I turned out to be right, I _still_ said sorry. That counts for something, right?”

“It does,” Herc agreed, still grinning. “But I can see why she, sorry, xe's unwilling to tell you.”

Angelica pouted, and then changed the subject so quickly that Herc felt like he had missed something in between. “How's Laf? With the whole gender thing?”

Herc paused, partly to formulate an answer, partly to remember the pronouns Laf had been using most recently. That morning, he had bumped into Laf, who, half-awake, had greeted him with a sleepy kiss to the cheek and a mumbled “It's 'they’ today”. “They're okay, I think. They wore a dress to their date with Alex and John, apparently, which was pretty brave of them.”

“Wow,” Angelica said, surprised. She seemed impressed, “That's a pretty big leap for them. But I was thinking, Aaron knows a lot about gender and stuff, and if they need any help…”

“I'll let them know,” Herc promised.

\-------------

Herc had made up his mind. He was going to talk to all three of them.

Of course, this decision had not been one made in a split second. It had taken days of burying himself under covers, talking to the turtle teddy that had once belonged to John, texting Angelica, moping, drinking and other not-wholly-healthy coping mechanisms that had eventually lead to pure desperation. He couldn’t stand it any more. If Laf kissed him on the cheek _one more fucking time-_

Deep breaths. Thinking about one of the three offenders (it was easier to think of them as ‘offenders’ rather than ‘crushes’, something that had made Angelica roll her eyes exasperatedly) would do nothing to help him right now. He had a plan, and he had to stick to it.

Though, he hadn’t even seen their faces yet and he was already panicking. Surely, if only Angelica had known of the plan in the first place, it wouldn’t be all that shameful to back out? Only one person would actually know. Maybe that would be for the best, actually.

Except… No, he couldn’t do that. He had made a promise not only to himself, but to Mr Washington. It was one thing to disappoint himself - he did that daily - but disappointing the teddy bear that he had named after one of the most formidable and infamous professors in the college was a step too far for Herc. He had to do this, even if it meant death. Though he struggled to see how that scenario would work out, unless John was so offended by Herc assuming he and his significant others were interested in him that he crushed Herc’s skull on the pavement. Unlikely, but still a possible ending to the story.

Herc pushed that thought out of his mind.

He was geared up. He had a rose, in case they asked him out and he needed a way to show his gratitude. He also had stuffed his bag with tissues, in case he needed to run away for a quick cry after getting rejected, a sentimental picture of the four of them, to remind him that they would still be friends even if they weren’t interested in him romantically, Angelica was on speed dial so he could sob his heart out to her, and he had two tubs of Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey. It wouldn’t be completely incorrect to say that he seemed more than pessimistic as he knocked on Laf’s door, but Herc tried not to think about that too much.

It was Laf who opened the door.

“Good morning,” was the bright greeting Herc received, followed by, “It’s ‘them’ today.”

“Hey, Laf,” Herc managed to say after a moment of silence which stretched on for far too long. Laf wasn’t wearing a shirt. It was like they were fully aware of what he was trying to do and now they were making it harder for him, as a punishment for having the audacity to approach them. Apparently, the entire world was conspiring against Herc. Maybe he should just turn back now. Better to have a honorable retreat than a miserable death.

No. He made a _promise._

“Are you okay?” Laf asked, leaning forward as though concerned. On reflex, Herc leaned away, and immediately felt bad when Laf began to look even more worried.

He could easily say that he _wasn’t_ fine, that he was slightly ill, and could excuse himself from the mess he was inevitably about to create, but… “Uh, yeah, I’m fine. Do you know where Alex and John are?”

“Mon petit lion is at his dorm, writing some essay or other,” Laf told him with a beaming smile that made Herc simultaneously want to never remove his gaze from Laf’s face and look away from something so painfully bright. “John is at a lecture, but he should be finishing soon. Why?”

“There’s something I need to tell you guys,” Herc said heavily, leaning against the doorframe and letting his head rest again it. He felt exhausted, and he hadn’t even spoken about it yet. It might have something to do with Laf’s state of undress. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. But Laf was still smiling brightly, gesturing towards the bed, and he couldn’t find it in himself to give up now. He sat on the bed, with Laf next to him, and tried not to think of the worst scenarios that this pivotal moment in their friendship could end in. They weren’t so heartless to drop him so easily. Surely, they wouldn’t?

Unfortunately, if he wasn’t thinking about the worst case scenario, the only other thing his mind considered important enough to dwell on was Laf’s naked torso.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You’re acting really strange.”

“I’m fine,” Herc reassured them. It took a whole new level of strength to keep his eyes on Laf’s face, and not on the skin that was bared, but Herc just barely managed, mostly because Laf’s face was just as gorgeous as their body. Their hair had been pulled back into their trademark puff at the top of their head, with hints of a velvet scrunchie peeking out between unruly hairs. The slope of their nose seemed to have been carved by the angels themselves. Their lips were quirked into a half-smile, and having first-hand experience of the feeling of those lips on his skin was doing Herc no favours.

“Really?” Laf asked sceptically.

Herc huffed a laugh. “I swear I'm fine.”

Laf still didn't look convinced, but they didn't argue. Instead, they snatched a t-shirt that was on their bedside table and, much to Herc's relief, pulled it over their head. The material got caught in their bun, and they struggled for moment, until Herc batted their hands away and carefully pulled the t-shirt over their bun of hair. Laf shot him a grateful smile.

“Do you want me to text Alex? We could wait for John at our bench. Lord knows I haven't spent enough time outdoors recently.”

It wasn't uncommon to hear Laf grumbling about how much time they were spending inside. They loved the feel of the sun kissing their cheek, and, frankly, Herc loved seeing them smile serenely with a halo of light, like some ethereal being that had descended from heaven just to make his life that much brighter. Of course, Herc had never told Laf this - nor did he plan to.

“Sure,” was his reply, and he carefully trained his gaze on the ceiling as Laf began to text Alex, bottom lip jutting out.

Seconds later, Laf turned their screen off with a triumphant grin. “Alex is gonna meet us at the bench in a few minutes, and John's lecture hall isn't far from there, so he'll be there in ten minutes max.”

“How did you manage to text both of them that quick?”

Laf's answer was casual, and yet hearing the words “Oh, we have a groupchat” felt like a stab in Herc's heart. Luckily, Laf didn't get to see Herc's face fall, as that was the exact moment they turned around and began to search for something through their drawers. Instead of crouching or kneeling, like any normal person would have done, they apparently thought it appropriate to bend over at the waist, with their ass conveniently in Herc's direct line of sight.

“What the fuck,” Herc mumbled to himself, a statement rather than a question, as he had long ago learnt not to question the actions of one Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette. Rather than admiring the view, as he so desperately yearned to do so, he sat down heavily on Laf's bed. It looked like it was going to be a long day.

“So what do you want to tell us?” Laf asked, finally standing straight again. Herc removed his gaze from the wall - he had been trying to find a pattern in the small black dots, like constellations - and met Laf's gaze.

“Oh, uh, you'll find out later,” Herc said lamely.

This answer was not enough for Laf, who began pouting. They sat next to Herc on the bed, close enough for their thighs to be pressed together and for Herc to revel in radiating warmth from the body next to him. And, as if that wasn't bad enough, Laf wrapped their arms around Herc's neck, a warm weight against bare skin.

“Please?” Laf asked, pitching their voice higher and batting their eyelashes.

“Can you stop that?” Herc said sharply. He regretted his harsh tone immediately. Especially after feeling Laf freeze next to him, muscles tensed as though prepared for a blow. He couldn't find the words to apologise, and his breath was still caught in his throat as he watched Laf draw back, face closed and not making eye-contact.

“We should get going,” they said in a carefully neutral voice.

Herc had never felt so disgusting in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol yikes
> 
> tumblr is [hhhercules-mulligan](http://www.hhhercules-mulligan.tumblr.com), insta is [dreamers_and_schemers](https://www.instagram.com/dreamers_and_schemers)


	3. Chapter 3

The walk to the bench was painfully awkward. Laf made no attempt at conversation, and their gaze remained firmly on the ground. Some part of Herc wanted to explain why, exactly, he was objecting to Laf’s affectionate touches, but he had no idea how he was supposed to say it. All the words that he had so carefully practiced until they had been burned into his memory had fled from his mind, and he was left flailing. He kept glancing at Laf from the corner of his eye, but when Laf continued to avoid his gaze, he asked, “Are you alright? I didn’t mean to-”

“I’m fine,” Laf said immediately, shutting him down. Their voice was blank, a clear, empty slate with no indication of any emotion. It was unnerving. 

Herc felt insanely guilty. He wanted to reassure Laf so badly, but he had no idea how to do that. Instead, he tried to focus on the drab, grey slabs of concrete, on the way the sun peeked out from behind the clouds, as though playing a game with a young child, on the faces of passerbys, oblivious and caught up in their own world and their own worries. This, unsurprisingly, didn’t last long, and the sound of Laf sniffing brought their attention back to the friend he had just hurt. The way Laf’s face fell upon hearing his words was burned into his memory, and no amount of people-watching was going to let him forget it. He couldn’t even glance at them now without feeling a churning feeling in his stomach. He felt sick. 

If the walk had been awkward, then the waiting was even more so. At least the walk had given both of them something to do other than ignore each other. But now they were sitting at the bench,  _ their  _ bench, the bench where they had made memories, had laughed, cried, puked on and always met up at. He even remembered one of the most important moments that had tipped Herc and Alex’s friendship from acquaintances to best friends - Alex had been midway a panic attack and Herc had helped him come down from it. This bench had been their  _ everything.  _ And now they were sitting on opposite ends, staring into the distance. Herc had to wonder if this was going to be the last time they could share the bench and the memories that came with it. Was that something he  _ really  _ wanted to sacrifice, all because he couldn’t control a few rogue romantic feelings?

“Hey, look,” he began again. He refused to let their friendship end like this, especially since what Herc had to tell Laf wasn’t going to endear him any more. “I really didn’t mean to offend you earlier. I swear I didn’t mean it in a bad way, it just… came out wrong, you know? It doesn’t bother me, I just-”

“It’s fine,” Laf said again. When Herc looked skeptical, they turned to smile at him. Granted, it was a weak smile, and Laf didn’t seem half as happy as they had earlier, but it was something. “Seriously, it’s fine. But you’ll tell me if it bothers you, right? I don’t want to...” they paused, clearly struggling to find words. Herc wasn’t sure if it was a language thing, or a sensitivity thing, but it seemed like the latter.  _ “Force  _ you into anything, okay?” 

What the hell did they mean by that? Before Herc could ask, he heard two familiar voices yelling behind them. 

“Don’t listen to him, he’s lying!” John was shouting, and the two of them turned around to see him sprinting towards them, with Alex hot on his heels. They skidded to a stop just inches away from the bench, with Alex almost falling over in his haste to stop. As Alex regained his balance and breath, John took the opportunity to defend himself from the unknown accusation. “Don’t listen to him, he’s a fat liar-” 

“Bullshit,” Alex managed to wheeze finally. 

Herc and Laf exchanged confused looks.

“I’m not sure I know what you mean?” Laf asked carefully. 

“He said he’d suck Lee’s dick for a fiver,” Alex shouted. His cheeks were flushed red, his temples gleamed with sweat and he was panting like a dog. It shouldn’t have been attractive, but Herc could only appreciate the brightness of his grin and the shining of his eyes as he excitedly recounted his tale, with John interjecting repeatedly and yet making no more attempts to deny the alleged statement. He, too, didn’t look bad for someone who had sprinted across campus. His hair had managed to escape his hair tie, and the curls sprung unruly out of the neat ponytail he had originally left to lecture with. 

“Well, isn’t  _ this  _ interesting?” Laf said with a wicked grin. In the company of their boyfriends, they seemed to have recovered from their earlier sullenness. Herc tried to shove down the feeling of jealousy that poked at his heart. He had no right to be jealous now, of all times. 

“All this time we thought you hated him,” Herc said in a carefully nonchalant voice, making John look even more indignant. “And it was just a schoolboy crush.”

“I didn't say a  _ fiver,”  _ he tried to argue, trying to sweep stray hairs back into his ponytail. “I-”

“So you'd do it for free?” Alex asked.

_ “No,”  _ John yelped. “I said money is money, no matter where it came from, and that I'd suck a dick for a fiver, but I didn't say Charles fucking Lee!”

“But you agreed when I asked if you'd suck his for a fiver, did you not?”

“No! I just hummed because I didn't hear what you said and I already said 'what’ twice!”

Herc snorted. The story was plausible; John had always been self-conscious about speaking, and had a habit of pretending he had heard someone even when he hadn't. It wasn't usually as common with them, as they'd been friends for so long that John relaxed a little around them, but it definitely made sense. Still, it was nice to laugh and joke around with all of his friends, especially knowing that, in seconds, they wouldn't be so willing to be close to him. 

“So Herc, what did you want to tell us?” John asked, firmly steering the conversation away from Lee. Oh well. The fun had been nice while it lasted. Herc didn't respond immediately, but gestured towards the bench. If this was really going to happen, then he'd rather be able to see all their faces than have to crane his neck to suss out their reactions. With the large gap between Herc and Laf - the other two shot them strange glances but, thankfully, didn't comment - the seating arrangement ended with Laf on the furthest end, Alex next to them, squeezing their hand in comfort and shooting them concerned glances, John, with his intense stare and star-like freckles far too close for Herc to control his heartbeat, and Herc at the end. Worst case scenario, being on the edge of the bench meant he could run off easily. Best case scenario, they weren't completely and totally weirded out by their best friend having a crush on them, and remained amiable, if awkward, friends.

“Are you sure you're okay?” John asked. “You seem… Off.” He leaned forward to inspect Herc's face, only inches away, just like the day he had been cornered against his own desk. 

“I'm fine,” Herc managed to get out, thankfully with his voice relatively at the same pitch as it usually was. “Um. How's life?”

“I’m sure you didn't call us here to ask mundane questions, mon ami,” Laf said dryly. Herc's heart dropped a little. In the past few days, Laf had taken to calling him 'mon amour', and even if it had been fatal mistake to get attached to the sound of a French endearment rolling off his best friend's tongue, he missed it. Now he was just back to 'my friend’. And that was probably where he'd remain.

“I didn't,” he admitted. He didn’t know how to begin, and so, the silence stretched on for a few seconds, before he spoke again. “Look, so the past week or so has been… different, right?” He paused, waiting for them to agree. Laf hummed, but John and Alex seemed confused. “I mean, with you guys being more… uh, touchy?” 

Realisation began to dawn on their faces, and Herc had to rush to speak again - he could practically see the words bubbling up from Alex’s chest and just barely being restrained. 

“It’s not bad, per se, but I just wanted to know… why?” 

Alex gave up on being quiet and the words began to spew from his mouth at such a fast rate that Herc was sure he didn’t even breathe, syllables tumbling one after the other at a worryingly fast rate that made even his datemates were looking at him with concern.

“Is it bothering you? We can stop, if it is, we don’t want to make you uncomfortable, we’re your  _ friends,  _ we shouldn’t make you uncomfortable! You can tell us if you don’t like it, that’s perfectly fine, we won’t be upset or anything, it’s just that you never said anything and we assumed - which we totally shouldn’t have done, we’re so sorry - but we had no idea-”

“Alex, breathe,” John said, alarmed. Alex finally tapered off, looking somewhat embarrassed.

“It’s just that,” Alex began again, slowly, “We can stop, if you want.” 

“I…” Now that he thought about it, did Herc  _ really  _ want them to stop? The past week had been strange, to say the least, and the three of them had been on his mind constantly. But he had also felt more comfortable than ever, in some strange way. Perhaps it was because he could pretend that he was dating them too, and could remain in his own little make-believe world where they loved him. Or perhaps he just liked the attention. Most likely the latter. But suddenly, after all that had happened recently, he found that he couldn’t bear to be forgotten again, pushed to the side and reminded of his friend-only status. 

He made his decision. He had come here to tell them his feelings _ ,  _ not scare them away. 

But first, he had to find out  _ why.  _ It hadn’t escaped his notice that, for all of Alex’s little speech, he had not given an explanation as to why they had even been doing so. 

“But you haven’t explained why you guys were doing it.” When Alex opened his mouth again, looking worried, he quickly added, “It doesn’t bother me, I swear. I just wanted to know why.” 

Alex fell silent at his words, glancing between Laf and John. The three of them appeared to have a silent conversation with look alone, and although Herc could not say for sure what they had agreed on, they definitely seemed to agree on  _ something,  _ judging by the satisfied nod John sent Laf.

“Mon amour-” the endearment was back, and Herc had to fight the flutter of emotion in his chest, “-We’ve been friends for so long, and do not mistake me for not valuing our friendship. We have always been the tightest of friends, and I’ve enjoyed every moment next to you. You helped me push through the most difficult times in this university, and have remained by my side throughout thin and thick.” Despite getting the phrase the wrong way around, Herc felt his heart stir at hearing how much he meant to Laf. The whole ‘my crushes are dating each other’ thing hadn’t exactly done wonders for Herc’s self-esteem, and something in him needed to hear that he mattered, that they still cared about him in some way, even if it wasn’t the way he had most wanted. 

“I… Thank you,” Herc managed to say. Was this Laf finally admitting that they only wanted to be friends? Herc’s mind was whirling, and he found that he felt even more lost than ever.

“Non, I’m not finished,” Laf said. They glanced at Alex, who immediately placed a hand on their thigh in silent support. “I do not want you thinking that our friendship is… inadequate, but we…” they trailed off again, glancing between Alex and John with a sort of hopelessness. Herc tried to compose himself. Now was the moment where they’d tell him they didn’t want to be friends; he was sure of it. 

John finished their sentence off. “But we would love it if you would join our relationship.” 

That… had not been what Herc had been expecting. He froze, hearing and seeing nothing outside of the three anxious faces peering at him and the sound of his own blood roaring through his ears, louder than a billion airplanes taking off at once. His entire world narrowed down to these three beautiful people that were in front of him, and god, it was so improbable that he tried to convince himself that it was a joke, that they would burst into laughter in a few seconds and the moment would pass. But no laughter came, and Herc allowed himself to indulge, just once. He was  _ tired  _ of being lonely, of watching all three of the people he loved find happiness in each other and have to distance himself. He deserved this, right? 

“Are you… are you sure?” he asked hesitantly. 

All three of them nodded, and Alex added, “We understand if that’s not something you want - we know polyamorous relationships aren’t for everyone, but we thought… maybe…” 

Alex, Herc decided, should never look unsure ever again. Perhaps it was that uncertainty that looked so uncharacteristic on his often proud face that made Herc answer. “Yes,” he said. “If… if you guys want that.”

“We do,” Laf reassured him, with a smile that made Herc grateful that he had made the correct decision.

But one person hadn’t spoke for a worryingly long time. John was suspiciously silent, and Herc began to feel hesitant again. John was smiling, sure, and he did seem happy enough, but Herc didn’t want to force himself into a relationship in which he was wholly welcome to. The last thing he wanted was to make John feel like Herc was intruding. 

“John?” he asked gently. “Are you okay with this?” 

John seemed startled at the question, hazel eyes widening. The sun chose, at that exact moment, to peek out of a cloud and shine down on the small, freckled man, and his eyes seemed even lighter than they usually did. “Of course, why wouldn’t I be? I love you.” When Herc didn’t look convinced, John sighed and added, “I just… get a little scared sometimes. My father didn’t exactly make me associate the most positive feelings with confessing to guys. I thought you’d… I don’t know, be disgusted or something.” 

John looked embarrassed at himself, rubbing a hand over his face and shrugging sheepishly. It was lucky that he was sitting right next to Herc, because it meant that he could pull the other man’s hand away and press a soft kiss against those lips he had spent so long fantasizing about, and revel in the fireworks that erupted within him. The kiss only lasted a second or two, but time seemed to pass slower, and by the time that Herc pulled away with dazed eyes and a fond smile, it seemed like centuries had passed.

“I’d never be disgusted by you,” he told John, before looking at Alex and Laf, who were watching them with barely suppressed affection. “Or either of you. Thank you so much. I, I thought-”

“You thought we didn’t love you?” Laf said dryly. “Quite the opposite, mon amour.” 

Herc’s heart felt so full with that it was amazing he could breathe at all. He had never, not even in his wildest and most indulgent dreams, had he allowed himself to consider the possibility that all three of them loved him as much as he loved them. He pressed another kiss to John’s lips, and god he wished that the other two were closer so that he could finally do what he’d been longing to do since the beginning of their friendship.

“Mind if we get in one some of that action?” Alex asked, with a lewd smirk. Laf laughed, slapping his thigh lightly in admonishment, but Alex was already leaning forward - and John leaning back - to press his own lips against Herc’s. He was a lot more insistent and pushy than John, but it suited him so well that Herc couldn’t bring himself to complain. A hand came up to burrow under Herc’s trademark beanie and entangle itself in his short hair, and just as Herc moved to cradle Alex’s cheek in his hand, Alex was pressing one last chaste kiss against his lips and pulling away.

“Nice,” he said appreciatively, making John snort with laughter. 

“Is it my turn now?” Laf asked, looking for all the world like an overeager puppy squirming where they were sitting. Herc didn’t reply but outstretched his arms. 

And that was how he ended up with two boyfriends sitting next to him and a lapful of his new datemate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally!! now all we need is for john to start dating herc in the mainverse, which should be happening real soon
> 
> tumblr is [hhhercules-mulligan](http://www.hhhercules-mulligan.tumblr.com), insta is [dreamers_and_schemers](https://www.instagram.com/dreamers_and_schemers)

**Author's Note:**

> let me know if there are any prompts you want me to write, whether in the jml universe or otherwise. or write them yourself and send them to me to read! there's not enough laf/herc/alex/john fics in the world


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